Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Your penis caused this!
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
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