his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
