I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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