grandma shit on top of the toilet
too bad you live with your parents still
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
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