Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Randomize
