Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Randomize
