If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
