Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
