North Korea, Best Korea!
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
