yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
People in love make me want to vomit
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
