Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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