I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
