so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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