girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
pop tarts are not kleenex
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
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