sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
