please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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