Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
