I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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