Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
