It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Randomize
