with your own penis?
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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