I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
