I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
