I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
