he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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