I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
