You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
You're like the curious george of whores
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
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