I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
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