Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
