Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Randomize
