So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
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