Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
