nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
