Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
