she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
