I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
