hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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