I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
