I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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