Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Randomize
