TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
