she looked like the before picture.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize
