So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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