i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
