So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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