Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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