so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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