her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Randomize
