I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
