What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
