he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
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