I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
